Dec 31, 2010

Reflections: Two thousand ten.

Two-thousand-ten was a big year for me. (Literally.) I spent most of the year pregnant, which is a strange thought in and of itself. I spent three-quarters of this past year growing a person in myself, a wonderful sweet person who is just starting out her life and will grow to become something amazing. I wonder what she will accomplish in her life? I look at her and try to picture her in 5 years, 10 years, 20... I spent some time last night crying (those dang hormones), wondering if I will be a good mom to her. I hope I can give her every little thing that she needs throughout her life. I want to be perfect for her. She's given me motivation to fix all the little things I can within myself, so that I don't pass self-doubt and worry down to her. I love Adelaide so much that I couldn't bear to see her without the stars in her hands, the moon shining brightly down on her. I will work always to make sure she has that.

And two -thousand-ten marked 2 years of marriage to my husband. I realized a week ago that in January we will have been together nine whole years! Such a long time! Almost a decade! In my mind's eye, I am still 18 and he is still 20 and we are just so young. But we're not. We've grown and this past year saw us become so much closer than ever. I really think this was our best year yet. Maybe preparing to grow as a family helped us realize how special we've got it?

I can't remember much of the last year, besides those two things. Yes, some new relationships were made, and some others seem to have broken. I've come to know how important it is for me to have others in my life. I ventured out a little, and plan to venture out a little more, soon. I know we took some vacations, did things, saw things.

But mostly, I remember being pregnant, and that's about it. Everything else seems so tiny compared to that great big thing. I grew a person. A whole person, who is perfect in every way! Can you imagine? My body, which I gripe about all the time, was capable of taking a tiny, tiny thing and growing and nurturing it within itself to form a little girl that bumped and jumped and hiccuped her way through 2010 in my tummy, to emerge into this world right before the turn of the new year.

No pressure, 2011, but you have big shoes to fill.

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