Jun 28, 2010
Jun 22, 2010
It was a great trip... just one night, but long enough to feel like we "got away." We need to do that more often, while we can! We're taking another trip up here (actually, to Asheville) on our anniversary, in July, so that's soon enough! Happy 15 weeks!
Jun 17, 2010
[Before: Yellow with green shutters and red front door, red porch; huge bushes out front]
[Somewhat After: Gray front, turquoise shutters/door; no more huge ugly bushes]
And then pregnancy kicked in. At that point, I was already a couple weeks along. I got real tired, real quick. And Kevin has been SO busy with his business. So the house got beautiful in the front but stayed bleh everywhere else.
This week, I have been trying to finish up the front, at least: painting window and door frames, scraping windows, priming the porch floor for repainting, fancying up a wall with a repainted medallion, and touching up the porch ceiling. Also, I've spent a lot of time helping Kevin rope up drums so that he can actually spend some time with me this weekend. Doesn't sound like a lot, but add in low energy, a super messy house needing to be cleaned, and freaking hot weather (something like 97 degrees and MUGGY), I'm proud of what I've gotten done so far.
But not without a price. I hurt my back yesterday so I have been literally worthless today. I spent the day trying not to move around (and eating double chocolate chip cookie bars), which completely sucks since today was the day I was going to paint the porch floor and put the 2nd coat on the front door. GRR.
All that probably won't get done since tomorrow is booked with things to do, including getting my car's a/c fixed (hopefully), taking our cat to the vet for a routine steriod shot, visiting hubs at work for lunch, and running to a bunch of stores to pick up the last needed things for my art camps. And then we're taking a weekend trip to the NC mountains (love!). And then babysitting and camps begin on Monday. SHEW!
But my back is feeling better, since I rested today, and by tomorrow I should be good. As long as everything I need to do doesn't take too long, I may try to squeeze the time in to at least paint the door. Hopefully. We'll see.
Lesson: don't overdo it. As a friend said: take it easy! I'm building another life!!!
Jun 16, 2010
But for some reason I started focusing on how she hadn't emailed me back in two days - maybe that meant she was forgetful and would forget something really important on my most important day. Or how she had her apprentice come along to our first meeting without mentioning it to me beforehand, which threw me off... even though I ended up liking her apprentice and she helped out with videotaping our first hearing of the heartbeat. And other silly little things like that, that I blew up into way more than they really were.
So I got out of the shower, dressed, and told Kevin I thought I was maybe in a funk. After some prodding on his part, I started blabbering about all this and really working myself up. He did the right thing, came over to me and held me while I got it all out, and then told me it wouldn't be stupid to ask her to give me all the facts all the time because I'm that kind of person and I need to be able to know that she knows what she's doing. And really, that if she can't handle that need of mine, then she's really not the midwife for us.
Except, I think she is, because we really liked her when we first met her, and we liked that she had 10 years of labor and delivery nursing under her belt, plus all the midwife training. She was easy to talk to, could be serious/funny/understanding when it felt right, etc.
And I KNOW that this is the route I want to take. I do not want to go to the hospital. I do not want interventions pushed on me. I do not want a bajillion people hovering over me, staring at my hoohah, while I'm lying down unnaturally pushing a human out of said hoohah. (I know it's not always like that. Many hospitals/obstetritions are very openminded about birth and the different ways women need to birth. I'm just going on what I know, and from people I've talked to personally.)
I want a calm atmosphere where I can decide my positions, and how often I want to change them. I want the choice to birth in the shower, the tub, on the bed, on the floor, standing, squatting, all fours... whatever feels right at the moment. I want to choose who I want around me, and when I want them there. I want to birth unmedicated, because I believe my body was meant to do this and I know I can handle this natural process in order to birth my baby safely and meet this lentil on the other side of it. I want a midwife who thinks in this way and will guide me to a safe and natural labor and birth of my baby.
So, this IS right for me. And I know this, but I am a worrier, and my mind got the best of me, for only a few minutes. I know this is what I want to do, but I've never done it and so I have doubts that will only dissipate with experience.
Kevin assured me that I've been a moma for long before we even met, so there was no way that this wouldn't go the way it's supposed to. And that our midwife was only there in case of emergencies. It isn't really about her, or anyone else for that matter.
It's about me, him, and this baby that we've made, and that I'm growing in my body. It's about us.
And so I felt calm again about my decision, and I can't wait until next week (I think) when we'll hear the baby's heartbeat again. Hopefully this time for longer than 3 seconds. And I'll be able to share all my concerns and fears and doubts (and hopes and wishes, etc) with our midwife, and I'm sure she'll be able to make me feel all at ease about my decision.
Phew. Pregnancy sure is a roller coaster of emotions. I know it's perfectly natural to one day be so sure of something, and then the next wonder what the hell I'm doing.
Jun 14, 2010
I decided to do different outfits each week, so that I'm not stressin' about what bottoms to match my black shirt. Plus, who wants to wear a tank top through December for weekly photos?
My belly definitely feels bigger this week. Maybe it's all the pizza, but I like to think it's my baby growing nice and strong and big. I still am in disbelief that this is happening.
Oh, and I keep catching Kevin say "for the first one" or "next time", etc.... meaning he is changing his mind about having only one kid. I told him early on he needs to get used to the fact of having at least 2, because I really want more than one child. He's even catching himself saying these things and trying to stop short before I notice, but my ears are open for those sorts of statements, and I don't let them slide. In fact, I usually do a little dance and yell "ah-ha" while pointing at him and grinning like a fox.
And, just because he's all camera-happy, hubs decided to extend the shoot onto me taking down the laundry (see previous post about not buying a new dryer). I think those shots are cute, and will satisfy my moma's craving for belly shots, au natural. Here's one for ya, moma:
Jun 13, 2010
I got my BabyCenter email today, since I hit 14 weeks (what?! 3 and a half months?!), and little lentil is about the size of a lemon. What really boggles my mind is learning that his/her hands are half an inch big now. Little hands that are squeezing and finding their way (at least the thumb) into baby's mouth for a little suckaroo.
I'm growing a human! Squeee!
Jun 12, 2010
When we moved from the mountains of NC (oh, beloved mountains, I long to be back!) to our current town four and a half years ago, we had to get most of the large appliances for our rental, as they weren't supplied by our landlord. We found a washer and fridge at Sear's, but our dryer... free on the side of the road.
An old dingy, yellow dryer. All it needed to work was a belt and an adapter plug. $8.00 later and we've had a dryer that has worked for almost 5 years. I have no idea how old it was, but I guarantee that it was not energy-efficient.
And a few days ago, something popped and it wouldn't heat up anymore. Kevin would have to take the whole thing apart, and then we're not even sure if he'll know what to do to fix it. So bye-bye dryer.
And we're debating on what to do: buy a new dryer, something energy efficient, with a warranty. Something pretty that matches the washer? Something convenient?
Well... maybe later. Right now, with the heat of summer and me having a little more extra time to be at home (school's out, remember?), we're going to postpone the dryer purchase. We have a wonderful clothesline in the backyard from my mom, so we're going the most energy-efficient, money-saving way: hanging clothes in the sun. And in place of the dryer, we'll get a drying rack to place there for those days that are rainy.
Every time I go out to hang clothes, I love listening to the birds and the sounds of the neighborhood: lawn mowers, kids laughing, music a few houses down. And I picture myself (I've done this for years) wearing a baby while doing so, helping the little one to appreciate slowing down and enjoying this type of work. Finally, my time is coming for that little dream to become reality!
Jun 11, 2010
Jun 7, 2010
With each week, my sense of wonder at what's happening inside my body is renewed, and the excitement bubbles over. Sometimes I forget I'm pregnant. With the rush of day-to-day work, babysitting, house chores, and sleeping, that thought gets lost in the shuffle. My belly isn't that big yet, and I don't feel the flutters of kicking and flipping that the baby is doing, so it's up to my brain to remember... and I don't have that great of a memory.
I wanted to start taking my weekly photos at 12 weeks, which was last week, but it just didn't happen. So yesterday, after pulling myself from my cocoon of puffy whiteness and away from the still-lounging hubs, I got up and gussied up for my first ever pregnancy "photo shoot."
Kevin got a new slr digital camera last week, and we're still trying to figure out all the settings and doodads it's got to offer. So, some of the pictures are blurry and out of focus. But the quick shutter speed meant that Kevin was able to click away so fast, and he got just over 100 photos in under 15 minutes!
Right now, I just look like a normal gal hamming it up for the camera. I've only gained 5 pounds so far, so although I feel a bit pudgy, it's not showing much yet. But I've got a special thing going on inside me, and when I think about it, my mind races with the possibilities of what this little lentil can, and will, become.
Right now, lentil's 3.5-5" long (depending on your sources), has fingernails, and is going at it like a little acrobat in there. Each week, so much development happens. It's bizarre to really think that a whole human is growing in my belly, and will be ready after only 10 months. That's a lot of work - no wonder I'm so tired all the time!
I wore a simple gray skirt and loose black shirt thinking that maybe, if I wanted to keep the same outfit, I could use the black shirt for a while. I don't know about that skirt, though; it's already kind of tight. Maybe keep the black shirt and change up the skirts/pants each week? I don't know! But I definitely felt pretty yesterday.
These two trees are in our backyard woods, and once held up an old, dangerously rickety tree house that got promptly torn down to open up the view of the woods and these two pretty barked lovelies. I'm really loving how the green in the background is so vibrant and clear in these photos! It'll be fun to see how the leaves will fill out more, change color and then fall off the tree as my belly grows and grows.
I thought it might be cute to stand in between the trees to see how my belly reaches out in between during the next 6 months. Wait, did someone say 6 months?!?! That's only half a year! And then I can bring baby out and stand between these two markers and introduce him/her to his/her backyard. I can't wait!
And of course, I had to share my cuddles with Keagan. He wouldn't stay away and I had to keep shooing him with my foot, so at the end I just had to hold him (practicing my baby cradle skills!) and love on him. And he matches!
I felt so pretty yesterday, thanks to the hubs and these pictures. Maybe that will be something to look forward to as my belly grows and I'm waddling around feeling like a fat cow. But a pretty fat cow, right? I'm actually looking forward to the big belly! Come on, 14 weeks!
Jun 3, 2010
6" italian herbs and cheese bread.
LOTS of banana peppers.
line of mayo.
line of mustard.
Delicious. I wonder if this is my first craving? I called Kevin and begged him to stop by a Subway on the way to work, but he has to go to the post office and probably would't make it home in time before I left.
At 7pm, if I'm still wanting this sub, I'm gonna find a Subway and get it. I have been having this sub at least once a week (at least) for the past six weeks or so.
This post isn't helping!