Jan 31, 2012


I have a hard time staying positive. I think I was born a pessimist. In fact, even in middle school, I recognized this quality of mine. My friend and I had an ongoing joke that I was the pessimist and she was the optimist in our friendship.

I get way too stressed out with the daily to-dos. I often put spending time with Adelaide on hold so that I can get my chores done (you know... I-have-to-get-this-done-or-my-brain-will-explode-and-then-we-can-hang out). I mean, I sit her on the counter while I prep her milk and food for the next day so yes, we're together, but I'm focused on something else. (Speaking of, this awesome hang out on the counter while mommy preps your stuff is coming to an end. She's a little too mobile and exploratory now... getting unsafe.) Diapers, laundry, tidying up, dusting, vacuuming, dishes (oh, the never-ending dishes). I just have this list that I need to tick off before I can breathe a sigh of relief. But I don't really feel the relief, because there's always SO MUCH TO DO and I can never get it all done.

And I always feel really bummed on Sunday nights, usually having a big cry about the injustice of my having to work and not being able to stay home with Adelaide. It's depressing. Sundays suck.

But yesterday, Monday, I decided that there's nothing I can do about it. This is my life, at least for now. I have no real choice in the matter. Bills need to be paid, food needs to be bought, debt needs to be slowly chipped at. So I work. And I spend my nights prepping for the next day of work and missing Adelaide.

I decided to be Supermom yesterday. I decided that I would get everything done and still (still!) have a lot of time to focus on Adelaide instead of thinking about that next thing that was on my to-do list. I decided to use my minutes wisely. I put my phone away. I kept the TV off. I turned on music, plopped Adelaide on the counter and very busily fixed her stuff for tomorrow. I started the diapers in the wash.


And then we went on a walk. Where we weren't "getting anything done" but spending time together. Giggling in the breeze, pointing to mailboxes, starely oh-so-intently as we passed the barking dogs, babbling and hair whipping around. It was nice. And we played. We read so many books, laughed and tickled, chased each other, tried to pull the cat's tail off (that was Adelaide, not me).

And then I did a little bit of diaper washing and laundry tending, and then we played some more.


And then we did dinner and she ate like a champ and we played some more.


And then we took a bath and read a book and ate half a banana and screamed through teeth-brushing and then I got to lay down and nurse her to sleep.

When she was down, I folded laundry while eating a quickly made egg and avocado sandwich while watching The Bachelor (guilty pleasure) while spending time with my husband (yep, he watches too!).

I was Supermom. I didn't get everything done on my list, but I changed my attitude about my life. At least for yesterday, I didn't feel bogged down. My moments with Adelaide were clear and pure. I enjoyed her, and I didn't mind my chores. I got everything done that needed to be, but I showed Adelaide that she was important (honestly, I don't feel like I neglect her, but I always have a nagging list in the back of my mind that keeps me from being 100% there). And we had a great night. Pretty much fuss-free, which is rare these days, what with the independence growing and all.

So today? I'm Supermom again. I can't control my circumstances exactly, but I can control my attitude about them. I'm glad I recognized what made yesterday better, because now I can try to make that choice everyday. I know I won't always feel like Supermom, able to squeeze in most of the housework and focus on Adelaide and do it all with a smile.

But today... today I will try.


  1. I really appreciate your honesty in this post -- so many times bloggers can be all sunshine + rainbows + marshmallows about motherhood, or else they are sarcastic and negative about how horrible it is to have to take care of your kids. You're optimistic and positive, but realistic about the frustrations and heartbreak. Thanks. And it sounds like you are doing an unbelievable job living in the moment with Adelaide!

  2. I so know what you mean! I have so many times when I am trying to get everything done so I can feel like I can breathe...but have learned as of late...when I stop all that and lay down and cuddle, giggle, play, walk with, read stories to my little girl...all that stuff fades away and it is so worth it! I have never been able to relax when there are chores to be done but since having my little one I am realizing and understanding the chores will NEVER ALL be done so I stop them and take the time with that little girl who is growing up so fast!!!

  3. Yes! It is hard to keep up with the little things that MUST be done and something I could never write where my husband could read it is "Guys just don't get it!" That is MY main struggle lately. It seems everytime my hubby does something (and he does more then most) he wants a cookie or pat on the back. I feel like saying this is my life, I don't GET to do it I HAVE to! I love it most days. I am not nearly as organized as you I can tell. But I have some standards (like organic healthy food) that I don't let go of. These days are short! Don't you think? But long at the same time. Sometimes I think, wow when did that happen? And it was yesterday, doing a million things in one day! I think what we do in one day as working moms is equivelent of what most people do in a week!

    One thing I think is really positive is that you are working and showing Adelaide. Even when she is on the counter. That is how kids learn. Even though you might think it is not quality time letting her watch you and help pull out the laundry from the baskets or hold an apple while you cut another, it is totally quality time. . . maybe we need to redefine quality time. You have no idea how many people sit their kids in front of Sprout T.V. for hours and are stay at home moms and consider it quality. I'm sorry for the lengthiness of the comment!

    BUT I THINK YOU ARE DOING QUALITY TIME! Way to go momma! You are a supermomma even when you are not giving yourself credit for being one.

  4. Great post. It can make such a difference to fix your mind on how you want it to be that day and making it happen - even though it will NEVER all get done, having the mindset you had made so much happen and you were able to enjoy it. We all need to see this kind of inspiration in others sometimes, it reminds us we can do the same! Thanks!

  5. [Courtney] Thank you for your kind words! It is hard to balance the blogging - being cheerful and recognizing the sweet moments without being a sap, but also being realistic without being a drag. Ahh!

    [Baby Makes Four] Thank you!

    [Angela] Isn't it great that once you let go of all the "need to do's" that you can truly actually feel great being in the moment with your kid? It's hard to do, but once you figure out how, it's wonderful!

    [Erica] THANK YOU! And I understand the resentment you feel towards your husband sometimes... like, he can go drum whenever he wants without a consequence, or go work out in the shed, but if I walk across the room I'm assaulted with screams and clingy baby hands! And I really, really, appreciate what you're saying about me doing quality time. You're right. She is learning and developing just by being with me, no matter what we're doing. Dishes beat TV time, every time, hands down. (Though, we do watch Ellen sometimes!)

    [Rebecca] Yes, you have to surround yourself with people you want to be like (real life or virtual)! Thank you!


I love comments! I read every single one and try to respond to most of them (during the baby's naps or in between loads of laundry). I value any and all thoughts, advice, and tidbits that you want to share!