Supermom.

I have a hard time staying positive. I think I was born a pessimist. In fact, even in middle school, I recognized this quality of mine. My friend and I had an ongoing joke that I was the pessimist and she was the optimist in our friendship.

I get way too stressed out with the daily to-dos. I often put spending time with Adelaide on hold so that I can get my chores done (you know... I-have-to-get-this-done-or-my-brain-will-explode-and-then-we-can-hang out). I mean, I sit her on the counter while I prep her milk and food for the next day so yes, we're together, but I'm focused on something else. (Speaking of, this awesome hang out on the counter while mommy preps your stuff is coming to an end. She's a little too mobile and exploratory now... getting unsafe.) Diapers, laundry, tidying up, dusting, vacuuming, dishes (oh, the never-ending dishes). I just have this list that I need to tick off before I can breathe a sigh of relief. But I don't really feel the relief, because there's always SO MUCH TO DO and I can never get it all done.

And I always feel really bummed on Sunday nights, usually having a big cry about the injustice of my having to work and not being able to stay home with Adelaide. It's depressing. Sundays suck.

But yesterday, Monday, I decided that there's nothing I can do about it. This is my life, at least for now. I have no real choice in the matter. Bills need to be paid, food needs to be bought, debt needs to be slowly chipped at. So I work. And I spend my nights prepping for the next day of work and missing Adelaide.

I decided to be Supermom yesterday. I decided that I would get everything done and still (still!) have a lot of time to focus on Adelaide instead of thinking about that next thing that was on my to-do list. I decided to use my minutes wisely. I put my phone away. I kept the TV off. I turned on music, plopped Adelaide on the counter and very busily fixed her stuff for tomorrow. I started the diapers in the wash.



And then we went on a walk. Where we weren't "getting anything done" but spending time together. Giggling in the breeze, pointing to mailboxes, starely oh-so-intently as we passed the barking dogs, babbling and hair whipping around. It was nice. And we played. We read so many books, laughed and tickled, chased each other, tried to pull the cat's tail off (that was Adelaide, not me).

And then I did a little bit of diaper washing and laundry tending, and then we played some more.



And then we did dinner and she ate like a champ and we played some more.



And then we took a bath and read a book and ate half a banana and screamed through teeth-brushing and then I got to lay down and nurse her to sleep.

When she was down, I folded laundry while eating a quickly made egg and avocado sandwich while watching The Bachelor (guilty pleasure) while spending time with my husband (yep, he watches too!).

I was Supermom. I didn't get everything done on my list, but I changed my attitude about my life. At least for yesterday, I didn't feel bogged down. My moments with Adelaide were clear and pure. I enjoyed her, and I didn't mind my chores. I got everything done that needed to be, but I showed Adelaide that she was important (honestly, I don't feel like I neglect her, but I always have a nagging list in the back of my mind that keeps me from being 100% there). And we had a great night. Pretty much fuss-free, which is rare these days, what with the independence growing and all.

So today? I'm Supermom again. I can't control my circumstances exactly, but I can control my attitude about them. I'm glad I recognized what made yesterday better, because now I can try to make that choice everyday. I know I won't always feel like Supermom, able to squeeze in most of the housework and focus on Adelaide and do it all with a smile.

But today... today I will try.

Check! Car Seat Installed!

Well, it's actually been installed for a couple of weeks or so now, but I'm just now getting around to posting about it.

It was more difficult than we thought. Thankfully I had a big, strong husband that could really tighten the belt and get the carseat secure. If it weren't for him, I'd have driven to the nearest fire department and had them do it. (You know, a bunch of firemen are trained in car seat installation, and will do it for free.)

But now it's in! We even went ahead and put on the window cling shade. We don't want little Adelaide to get sun in her eyes, now do we? And of course a soft blanket to wrap her up in if it's chilly outside.

I can't wait for that first drive home, when I can sit beside her and just hold her little hand all the way to our house. She will be so tiny at first. Precious!

Figuring out insurance (or, pulling my hair out).

With impending baby, I needed to figure out what to do about insurance.

I work for the state as a teacher, so I have a really good plan (Blue Cross Blue Shield standard PPO). The state pays for this plan which is awesome, and they will continue to pay for me until the end of February, at the end of my Family and Medical Leave. I plan on staying out at least another 5 months after that (more if finances allow), and if I wanted to continue my plan, I'd have to start paying over $400/month out of pocket. For myself only.

Um, too much. I wish I could afford it because it's a great plan, but to pay that much for myself isn't feasible with our budget. And besides, I'm a healthy person. I know insurance is just that: insurance... but we can't afford a major plan like that for one out of three people in the family.

Kevin has a HSA plan through his work, where there is a $2500 deductible and then everything is covered 100%. His work pays the monthly fee, and so basically health coverage is free for him unless something happens. Then he pays out of pocket till the deductible is covered.

Here is where it gets tricky. Did you know how difficult it is to have coverage for a newborn? "They" seriously do not make it easy for new parents to insure their new baby. After researching our options, we've chosen to get Adelaide a Blue Cross Blue Shield HSA plan for herself (at least for a while). However, unless she's born by a specific date, we can't start coverage for her.

For instance (and I know this is SOOO interesting to you guys), she had to be born by December 8th to get coverage starting December 15 through the plan we want her to have. Obviously that didn't happen. Now if she were born before December 22nd at midnight, we could have coverage for her on January 1st. Which would be fine if she turns out healthy.

But if there's some unforeseen health problems with her straight away, obviously that wouldn't work. And there's no way to sign her up and start paying for her now, because according to them she's not an actual person yet.

So we have to add her to my existing plan (you know, that expensive one) and pay for the entire month of December (even though it's nearly halfway over already) AND January. Just so she has coverage. Then we can think about moving her to the much cheaper individual HSA. And then figure out something for me, since we won't be keeping me on the state plan.

How confusing and frustrating is all this? I can only imagine how entertaining this post has been for you all, but trust me when I say, I am 100x more bored and perplexed by the whole insurance biz. Trust me when I say, don't wait until a week before your due date to try and figure it out. Not that it will change anything as far as when your baby can get covered (unless you have some magical insurance company), but the stress of figuring out the mumbo-jumbo is not needed in that last week.

But now it's done, will be paid for out of my next check (goodbye extra cash for January), and I can cross that mad sucker off my to-do list. SHEW!

Adelaide's Room: Finished!

I'm finally done with the little girl's room! I put finishing touches on it this morning, and breathed a sigh of relief knowing that whenever she decides to come, I don't have to worry about working on this room anymore! I am absolutely in love with every bit of it, and now I just wish that all our rooms looked this good! :)

[Entering the room. Rug from IKEA.]

[Bookshelves made from a vinyl gutter. New vibrating seat was a $5 Goodwill find!]

[Bamboo blinds from Lowe's. Curtains from IKEA. Wooden bike from Goodwill.]

[Shelves I've had for years.]

[Dresser from IKEA, with new knobs and changing pad on top. Cloth diapers, covers, handmade wipes, etc. are in the top drawer, while clothes are in the other two drawers. Wet pail to the left of the dresser. Tall mirror hung low so Adelaide can use it when she gets older. Dandelion decals from Target.]

[Mobile I made, inspired by the one found here.]

[This will be Adelaide's view when she's getting her diaper changed.]

[Closet doors, and door into room.]

[Martha Stewart alphabet cards. I love the vintage feel.]

[Knobs on closet doors, found at Hobby Lobby.]

[Gulliver crib from IKEA. $0.99 sheet from Goodwill.]

[Crochet blanket was a gift from a friend. I made the owl years ago, and the kitty is IKEA.]

[I made this bunting that hangs over the crib. If you flip it over, the other side says "I love you".]

[Closeup of the bunting. Both of these fabrics are being used in the quilt I'm making her.]

[Crib/bookcase corner.]

[Frame collage over bookcase. I made the paper collages in the five gray frames using scrapbook paper.]

[Hubby and I made this bookcase out of birch plywood. We put it together using dowel rods and no screws! We are very proud of it. It's very sturdy and stable, and will last years.]

[$5 piggy bank from Target, no longer sold.]

I can't wait to put little Adelaide in her room! I think it's made well enough so that it will grow with her. The crib converts into a toddler bed and will most likely stay where it is. The bookcase of course can hold so much more than it is now (we just don't have many toys yet). Books can be switched out in the gutter bookshelves. The changing pad can be removed and little girly things can be placed on top. And the closet is still practically empty and can hold tons.

I'm so happy with the way this room turned out! Total cost was around $500, but that includes all the big furniture, the wood to make the bookcases, and the tons we spent in paint samples! Not bad for a room that started off beige all over and completely different!

Music for Labor (in which Pandora does it all)

When I got pregnant and started to research all the things I needed to do before going into labor, I kept reading about making playlists for the labor and birth. How it was nice to have a few different playlists depending on what stage of labor I'd be in, or what kind of music I'd want at any given time. You know, fast and upbeat songs for the beginning stages when I'd still be moving around. Slow and calming songs for when I needed to just breathe through the contractions. Maybe something fun for the pushing stage.

I kept putting this task off because it seemed *so* overwhelming. How in the world would I choose the songs to put in these playlists??? How would I even begin to review all the music I like and choose certain music for certain times of labor?

Enter Pandora.

I love Pandora. I've decided that we'll plug in my laptop (or Kevin's phone) to the sound system and let her do all the work. I've got my stations that I've had set up for over a year now. She knows what I like and it's easy to change the stations depending on what I want to be listening to. And it'll be easy to type something new in, should I decide on that.

So whether it be Florence and the Machine, She & Him, The White Stripes, Bob Marley, or Biggie, I'll be set.

Thank you, Pandora, for making this easy on me!

Check! Found a pediatrician! Oh, and now I can legally give birth.

I just got back from meeting with a pediatrician, who I've decided is pretty great. It was a really quick meeting, where I didn't ask nearly enough questions, and it actually felt kind of rushed. So you're probably asking what makes this guy/place so great.

Well, the whole practice works with a very natural, holistic mindset. The physician, his assistants, and the nurses all share the same philosophy and beliefs about healthcare - that it's a mind and body thing, not something to be treated automatically with a prescription. As a pediatrician, this doctor I've met with basically said, before even I got a chance to ask, that he will work with us on whatever immunization schedule we want, when we want it. That's a plus for us. We haven't worked out exactly what we want, but we're pretty sure we're going to be on the "as-little-as-possible" end.

He also said that he will only prescribe medicine when really, really needed, and only after trying other routes to solve a problem. This is good for us because we rarely take medicine ourselves (why would we assume our child would?).

He is also perfectly accepting and fine of our intention to solely breastfeed, and that we are a vegetarian family.

So yay! And not only did I check off finding a pediatrician, by meeting with this physician, I was able to have him sign a form clearing me to give birth at the birth center. Legally I need that form to prove that I am low-risk, and I've got it!

Now I need to figure out insurance for this little one. I know I've waited too long, but I'm calling them today (as soon as I get done with lunch!). Hopefully it won't be a hassle and will be easy to set up.

Freezer Meals

Yesterday I woke up early after only five and a half hours of sleep.


(I was tired.)


But I wanted to get up on my first real, official day of maternity leave and DO something. So I fixed a delicious breakfast of waffles and eggs and fakin' bacon for myself and the hubs before he left for work. And instead of crawling into bed for more sleep, I trekked to Walmart to do some major grocery shopping.


Then I came home and made a bunch of food that I can't touch for two weeks because I stuck it in the freezer specifically for when Adelaide gets here and the thought of cooking is beyond my mental capacity.


On the menu (sorry for the lack of pictures):

• 18 breakfast burritos - 9 sausage and 9 beef (all veggie meat of course). These are SO easy and quick and awesome for rushing around in the morning. Not to mention the insane amount of protein per burrito. I can post the recipe if anyone is interested.


• Spinach Lasagna. I haven't had this before but it looked mighty tasty. Lots of sauce and yummy cheese.


• Veggie Enchiladas. I'm really excited for this casserole dish. The enchiladas themselves have corn, spinach, black beans, and cheese. And of course I made the enchilada sauce, which actually looks, smells, and tastes like the enchilada sauce I remember from my favorite college-town Mexican place.


• Veggie Burgers. The recipe says it makes 4, but I got 6 out of it. I wrapped each individually and then bagged them up two in a bag so that they'd be good to take out for a dinner for the two of us. I don't know how these will taste, burger-wise, but the patties did smell good and the little bit that I did taste was yummy. But I don't think they'll be burgers.


• Pizza Bagels. I made 10 whole wheat bagel halves, topped with pizza sauce, cheese, and an assortment of toppings. And just like the recipe said to, I broiled until the cheese melted, let them completely cool, and then bagged them separately. They will be a quick fix (with about 8 grams of protein each, plus your calcium from the cheese) by just popping them in the toaster oven for a few minutes.

I even got the hubs to agree not to touch anything on that freezer shelf until baby Adelaide gets here. I figure while we have the time and energy to cook now, we should. Later when we're sleep-deprived, we don't want to regret heating up and devouring that delicious enchilada dish or munching on those pizza bagels.

All in all, for a day of cooking, I'm glad to have a freezer full of yummy, nutritous food on hand! Hopefully that'll help us in the first couple weeks not to call Dominos for their num-yummy white sauce, onion, and red bell pepper pizza. Maybe.

Busy Weekend! Painting the House...

One of the items on my "before baby" list is to paint the side of the house.  Right when I first got pregnant, before we really knew, my mom helped me to paint the front of the house (which is, like, 95% done).  

Then I got pregnant, then it was rainy all the time, then it was a hot, hot summer.  Now finally the weather is cool again and my nesting instinct has kicked in big time.  I've been tired of living in a two-toned house for the past 6 months, so this weekend with the perfectly cool weather, I broke out the painting supplies and did as much as I could without climbing a ladder.

This is what I got done.  The yellow is the old color, and that beautiful gray?  It's perfect.  My mom is coming up yet again this weekend to help Kevin finish that side.  It should be interesting as they are both somewhat afraid of heights and we don't have scaffolding or anything.  We'll see how it goes!

Of course, even if we finish painting this side, we still have the other side and the back of the house... but that can wait until next spring.  The reason why this side is so important to me to finish is because that's what people can see from the road... and it looks awful to have two different colors of house!  I want it to appear that the whole house is painted, even if it really isn't.

Woohoo for getting things done (even if it is little by little)!

Check! Called Colonial insurance yesterday!

Woohoo! That was easy! And I got something checked off my big to-do list! :)

Along with my regular state health insurance (Blue Cross Blue Shield), I also have a Disability plan with Colonial Life. I signed up for a pretty minimal plan with them years ago in the case that I'd get pregnant, as that's covered under disability (what?!).

I just called today and talked with a wonderful representative (awesome customer service so far!) about the process of filing a claim since I had no idea how that works. I've been really healthy and lucky so far in my life and haven't had to file any claims. The birth center is filing my BCBS claim for me, and all my dentists have filed dental claims, so this will be my first!

Under my plan, if everything goes well with the delivery, and I'm able to deliver vaginally, I will be eligible for $250/week for 5 weeks. If there are complications, surgery, hospital stays, problems healing, etc... I will be eligible for more.

The only thing I need to do is fax in a form filled out by the midwife after delivery, along with a copy of her license and a letter saying that I went to an actual OBGYN (which I did, for the ultrasound). Two weeks later I get a check.

Sweet! I feel good. :) Come on baby, stay healthy for moma!