I am constantly doubting myself as a mom. Does everyone go through this? Where you one day think that you are doing what's best for your child, and then the next think that maybe you should do something different? That if only you knew exactly what WAS best, then you'd definitely do THAT?
Like, there's one way to ride a bike. Get on, balance, pedal with one foot then the other. Use the brakes gently, feet down, dismount.
But with parenting, there are SO many ways to do every little thing! The mind tug-o-war is exhausting.
I am pretty sure about some things that I'm doing. Cloth diapering. Babywearing. Breastfeeding. Co-sleeping at night. These are things that feel right.
But then, should I nurse her right before bed? What if she gets too attached to nursing to sleep? What happens when I go back to work in August or so, and she can't nap on her own? When do I start trying to get her to nap without me? Should I be using that darn pacifier so that she at least isn't attached to my boob all night? Will she be attached to that instead? What if the pacifier becomes a battle later? Should I just let her cry, as long as I'm right there? How long do I let her cry?
You get it? And it goes on and on. Le sigh. I'm trying to figure it out. Right now, though, it feels right to nurse her to sleep and not let her cry too much. That has to count for something. If it feels wrong, don't do it. I wish I lived in a place or time where there wasn't so much parenting information being blasted my way. That would help this conundrum a little bit, right? Then I could freely do what just felt right without second-guessing myself.