Dear Little Lentil,
One week ago your daddy and I went in for our 2nd appointment with the midwife. I was nervous about this appointment for a couple reasons. One, I was unsure we picked the right midwife for us, but it turns out that I was just worrying about any and everything I could (including her). She made me feel much more comfortable, at least for now, and spent over an hour talking with me and letting me ask her all sorts of questions (like, why do I get these horrible headaches every day? and when does my belly get hard?).
I was also nervous that for some reason we wouldn't be able to hear your heartbeat. One month ago at our last appointment, the doppler only picked up your heartbeat for 2 seconds or so. We were grateful that we could even hear your heartbeat at all, but it left us wanting more.
Part of me wondered if I made it up, hearing your heartbeat. Even though we had video evidence that it was not a part of my imagination, your moma tends to worry... a lot. I was just so scared that something had happened to you in the last month, or that we would hear something wrong in your heartbeat, and the midwife would turn to us and say that we needed to go get an ultrasound, stat!
But you are healthy, and strong, and your heartbeat sounded so beautiful to my ears, and to your dad's ears. I can still replay in my mind the sound and speed of your tiny heart. 153 beats per minute (that's so fast!!!). Your dad confessed that at work a few days later he set up a metronome on his phone to 153 beats per minute and drummed along to it. He couldn't get it out of his head either.
And ever since then, since there was real proof that you do exist within me, I have felt even so much more connected to you. Our spirits are entwined, little one. I love you so much, baby, and when the light changes it's probably my hands rubbing my belly, sending that love straight to you.