Happy Dad's Day to my wonderful husband.

Dear Kevin,

Happy Father's Day! You are a wonderful dad, and every day you fill that role just a little better than the day before. You are really enjoying this thing called parenthood, and it shows. You wear your daddy pride on your face, in your smile, in the way you hug your daughter, in the way you play with her, in the way you're teaching her to drum. It fills me up with such happiness to see you two together. It's a beautiful sight. I love how Adelaide lights up when you walk into the room or when you get home from work. It's obvious how much you both adore each other. I know that love will only grow as the years do.

Thank you for being such a wonderful husband and father to my daughter. I love you!

<3, Kristina

In which I find out my Mother's Intuition works. Ack!

Adelaide shares our bed. That's where she sleeps at night, and that's where she (mostly) naps. I've been saying for weeks, mostly in conversations with my mom, that I needed to either figure out a different sleeping situation or get some of those baby bed rails. Adelaide is starting to move more, and I wanted to be safe.

As far as moving her out of the bed... I'm not ready. It's selfish I know, but I think it has something with my heavy dread of going back to work, and wanting to keep her sleepy baby cuddles for as long as I as I can. It's entirely possible that she will still be in our bed many months from now. Or maybe "side-car style" in her crib next to our bed. Or maybe not. I don't know.

But the baby bed rails? We're buying them TOMORROW. Want to know why? I put Adelaide down for a nap, and left the room to go use the bathroom. She wasn't asleep but she was laying right in the middle of the bed and I was hoping she'd get drowsy on her own and maybe, just maybe, fall asleep. (Yeah right! Who was I kidding? She's never fallen asleep on her own like that.)

So, I went to use the bathroom, and when I was done I decided to go ahead and walk back into the bedroom at the same time as zipping up and buttoning my shorts - instead of doing that in the bathroom and then walking the little way to the bedroom. Essentially I got to the door of the bedroom 5 seconds earlier than I would normally have.

And thank goodness. My first real true instance of Mother's Intuition. Adelaide had flipped herself onto her belly and scooted herself to the edge of the bed and was literally on her way over, head-first. I immediately ran in the room and scooped her up. I was shaking, my heart was pounding. It's at least a 2-foot drop, and she was heading down head-first.

Had I waited 5 more seconds, like I normally would have to fasten my shorts on, I would have been scooping up a screaming baby off the floor, rattled and scared, at the least.

So, yeah, we're going out to buy a couple of these, tomorrow. And figuring out this baby-on-the-move thing. (Not crawling yet, but um, definitely scooting!

Friday Crafternoon v.2

Hi there! I hope everyone is having a wonderful Friday so far and has plans for a great weekend! Here, we're celebrating Kevin's first Father's Day by going out to eat. We also have a lot of things we're working on around the house.

Of course, I plan to craft a little bit, and thought I'd share some creative inspiration for your weekend. I started this feature last Friday and hope that you ooh and ahh over what I've found across the web this week! Happy weekend!

These glow in the dark star jars would be so pretty lined up on the porch railing at night!

What a cute, quick embroidery project!

Have you seen the movie Up? Well, National Geographic did it for real!

Millions of french knots make for a pretty piece of art!

My mom used to live in Alaska. These icebergs are in Alaska, so they made me think of her!

These pretzels would be a yummy father's day treat for Kevin!

This season of my life (on becoming a working mother).

Monday Adelaide and I went to the end of year luncheon at my school. I was nervous beforehand because it was the first time I'd see the whole staff all together at the same time since I left on maternity leave, back in November. And I was worried about how Adelaide would handle so many people all at once. But she handled it like a champ, garnering aww's and lots of kisses on her little toes from other moms who miss having a little baby around.

It was loud and very busy in the library. People were walking around, getting their lunches, talking excitedly about summer plans and the last little bit of stuff they had to take care of before summer could really begin (those last couple of workdays are always so bittersweet). Smells of pickles and the sound of crinkly chip bags in the air.

I walked in to my community of teachers and was hit with mixed emotions.

On one hand, I can't wait to go back to work. I have so many ideas for fun and new projects to do with the kids. I still read all the art blogs and have bookmarked so many things I want to try, and that I'm excited to try. I love knowing that kids like coming to art, that they enjoy seeing me and hearing what we're doing each week. I love hearing from my fellow teachers that the kids miss me and can't wait until I'm back. I love hearing from my fellow teachers that they can't wait until I'm back. I like being in the know, and I have felt very out of touch with the goings-on of my school while I've been out (and oh, my, there have been a LOT of goings-on going on!).

And of course, there's the stability of a paycheck and benefits, though the amount of both are pretty pathetic right now for teachers in North Carolina.

But on the other hand, HOW am I supposed to leave this precious little one in the hands of a stranger for 8 hours every. single. day? I am tearing up thinking about it even now, four months out. I know she will adjust. Everyone always says that. And everyone also says that it's harder on the mom than it is on the baby, especially for your first child.



But I can't help but picture her little cry. The one where she's done crying so hard because it has worn her out, and now she's just calling for mama. She does that cry with Kevin often, when she wants mama. And I try to wait it out hoping that she will realize she is fine and safe and everything is okay, but it breaks my heart. So I go in and scoop her up and she stops crying immediately, though she is still incredibly snotty and raspy and very, very splotchy (just like her mama when she cries). And she looks at her dad and smiles because she wanted me, needed me, and here I am.

HOW am I supposed to ignore that and go to work? Knowing that I can't possibly go in and scoop her up? How am I supposed to go into an empty room and hook myself up to a breastpump twice a day, when I would so much rather be cuddling my baby while she nurses, looking up at me and playing with my shirt or running her hand over my mouth?

I admit, selfishly, that I just want her all to myself. I want to be the one to teach her the ABCs, the one to see her walk (oh god, what if she walks for the first time at daycare and I miss it?), the one to help her make friends.



I am just going to miss her. so. bad. Like my chest aches with the thought of it. Like my eyes are overflowing because this love is so much more than I ever, ever thought it would be. I wouldn't trade it for anything, but damn this is hard. Having to make this decision, or rather, not having the choice but to go back to work is so very difficult. But the fact is, we need the money, and so much of it that this is the only option right now.

I know this is just a season of my life that will pass, and before I know it I will be the lucky one who gets to drive my daughter to school every day, see her at lunch, have her come to my art class every week, be able to volunteer in her classroom when I can, have her hang out in my room after school and get that darn homework out of the way so we can drive home together to dad and have wonderful family time, making memories together that will greatly outweigh the sadness that consumes me now. I know that time will come. I know this will pass. I know once we get the routine down and I figure out how to cope with not being with my daughter 24/7 that I will enjoy being at work, she will make friends and she'll begin to love her teachers.

And I will look forward to that summer vacation and buzz around with all my fellow colleagues during those last couple of workdays, talking about summer plans I have for my family, those two months alive with possibilities and endless snuggles with my daughter.

(Mamas, feel free to share any thoughts you have about being a working mom. I would love to hear any and all you have to say on the matter.)

This is a drumming family, for sure.

A few weeks ago there was a local festival called DrumStrong. I think this is the fifth year (?) that it's been going on and it's a pretty awesome event and cause. Scott Swimmer, the founder of DrumStrong and his son are both cancer survivors and he started this cause to raise money and awareness about cancer.

It's a two day event, where people get together to drum. There's a huge ongoing drum circle during the event, and each year it's a little bit longer than the year before so they can stay current in the Guiness Book of World Records (side note: as a present from my teacher in the fourth grade, she bought each of her students a Guiness Book of World Records... I had that thing for the longest time and vividly remember the picture of the lady with creepy long fingernails.).

There's also lots of yummy food (like the quickly-becoming-famous Veggie Thing. A delicious grilled pita full of greens, broccoli, salsa, and cheese. I ate like three of them in one day last year when I was pregnant. This year, I limited myself to one, but am already dreaming of next year's Veggie Thing.). And there are tons of vendors. Including Kevin, who uses the event to make a lot of contacts as people don't typically bring $300+ in cash to buy a drum.

And it was really freakin' hot this year. SO hot. Adelaide and I joined Kevin Saturday in the afternoon, and she charmed the pants off of all the people stopping by Kevin's tent. And we went down to the drum circle and she LOVED it. And fell asleep in the carrier even with all that loud, loud, loudness.

Next year, I see a dancing baby :). I can't wait.

[so hot after her nap in my carrier. kicking back.]




[so beautiful.]










[shot of the drum circle saturday night.]




["say whaaa?"]


[drum baby.]

Here's a video of Adelaide enjoying some of Daddy's drumming when she was a mere 3 months old. Half her age now, almost. I can't believe how time flies. So, so, so fast.

Nap Update.

Naps are still tough, definitely. Mostly it's the getting-her-to-sleep part. We are very anti-cry-it-out, but it's exhausting getting her down for a nap sometimes. I know we set her up for "bad habits" in the sleep department, and we're working on fixing them.

Right now, it takes a lot of swaying, holding, rocking, bouncing on the exercise ball, nursing, etc. to get her down. Sometimes only one of those things, sometimes all. She yawns, and I start the process because you're supposed to get them down before they become re-wired, but it still takes a while. Sometimes she's up for another whole hour. And if I hadn't made the decision that it was naptime, I wouldn't care that she'd be awake for another hour. But after deciding that hey, this is naptime now, why won't you sleep? it becomes a lot more tiring for me.

BUT! She is sleeping longer! After reading the No-Cry Sleep Solution (still reading but highly recommend for anyone who thinks crying it out doesn't feel right for you), I've been able to get her to sleep for longer than 30 minutes. Elizabeth Pantley, the author, suggests that you go into your baby's room right before that normal wake up time, which for us was pretty much 30 minutes on the dot. When your baby stirs - NOT wakes up, just stirs like she's going to wake up - do what you need to do to put her back to sleep. This could be offering the pacifier, rocking her, patting her, or even nursing her. I just go in and pat her bottom, kind of rocking her at the same time. Pantley says that after a week or so of this, your baby will be able to sleep longer stretches on her own.

We saw a difference after just a couple of days. !!! She's now sleeping at least 45 minutes before stirring, and yesterday she slept a whole hour and fifteen minutes! Did you hear me? That is over double her normal nap time! Exciting news, to say the least.

And when she wakes up, she'll usually play in her crib for at least 10-15 minutes before she starts fussing. It's like she says "Hey! I'm awake! Where ARE you???"

Any advice for getting her to sleep without so much help?

I feel positively giddy about this. Yay for long naps!

Friday Crafternoon.

If you're anything like me, you find creative inspiration everywhere. I save literally hundreds of links to my bookmarks folders, and leave lots of windows open on my laptop so that I don't forget to try something out. It drives my husband crazy, but I can't help it!

So I've decided to share all those wonderful tutorials, beautiful pictures, yummy recipes, and general awesomeness that I find on the web every Friday afternoon. Give you a little weekend inspiration! I hope you enjoy!

[via]

Here's our first roundup!

I'm not a huge fan of lace, but scroll down and look at that cake! It's gorgeous!

This totally makes me want to experiment with knit on knit applique! I've been playing around with knit fabric lately, and this is just a new thing to do with it :)

I don't know if I could bring myself to cut up a vintage receipt, but this little birdie would make it all worth it!

Personalized buttons? Yep, this tutorial is going in my to-do pile.

These strawberry jam tarts would be great for a Sunday brunch, don't you think? And they look easy to make!

There are so many things I love about this birthday party! The cute monster cake, the utensil boxes, the bright colors! Will file in my "birthday party" folder.

***

Have a fabulous weekend!