Adelaide: 18 months!

Dear Adelaide,

My sweet girl, you are now 18 months old! A year and a half! Most days I look at you and catch a glimpse of the little girl you are becoming. You're thinning out a little bit and some of your expressions show us what an energetic and outgoing person you're going to be (and are!). Your dad and I frequently think about you in years to come: how you will look when you head off to kindergarten, the "no" face you'll make when a boy asks you to prom (you make a pretty fantastic No face). It's amazing to think that a year and a half has already flown by. It makes my heart grow and ache at the same time. My sweet little girl, so big already. So much your own person. You have been from day one. We are trying our best to nurture you and guide you as gently as possible into the person you already are. We're showing you the ropes of this crazy world and hope we're not making too many mistakes along the way that you'll later remind us of. :) Each day is a joy, a struggle, a whirlwind. I've been told that's life with a toddler. But no matter how hard or difficult a day feels, at the end of the night when you've been sleeping for a couple of hours, I already miss you. Life with you is amazing!

Eating
Adelaide, you are a finicky eater. Some days you'll eat so good! A variety and lots of it. But other days, all you'll eat is a couple crackers and maybe some fruit. You will always eat whatever carb is placed in front of you: pasta, bread, crackers. You love apples, bananas, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, and grapes. You love sweet potaotes, any kind of bean (green, chickpea, black, etc.), mashed potatoes, hummus. You really like smoothies and fruit drinks (the real stuff, not fruit-flavored junk).

You're really good with your fork and spoon, though you will always revert back to using your fingers to eat - it's just so much faster and foolproof that way!

You just recently drank successfully from a real cup. You love your sippy cups, and often will refuse to even try to drink from a real cup. However, the other morning I had some chocolate almond milk, and you wanted to drink some, so I poured a bit into a small cup for you and you did it! Of course, you ended up with a chocolate milk mustache (and beard) and some dribbled down the front of your dress, but you did it! And you were so proud of yourself too!

Nursing
You are still nursing strong at 18 months. Some days I feel like you are a newborn again, nursing every couple of hours. I still nurse you whenever you want, except when we're out and I know you've had milk recently and you're not hungry. I will nurse you in public, but only if you really need it. I still nurse you to sleep every night and nap. Seeing your sleepy milk eyes makes me so happy. Feeling your hand rub my belly and chest makes me so happy. Seeing the contentment in your eyes, hearing it in your deep sigh when you latch on, hearing your happy gulps... this is what I'm meant to do... nourish you until you're ready to be done. Which ain't happening any time soon!

Talking
Oh boy, you are a babbler. All. Day. Unless we're in the company of strangers. Then you clam up. But you really do love to talk. Aside from the nonsense babbling that we don't understand (but nod and answer to), you do have some words. Ball, car, eat, apple, bean, bear, bee, baby, dada, mama, papa, book, yuck, uh-oh, pee-pee, poo-poo, diaper, store, yum, down, up, yeah, no, hi, bye-bye, night-night, balloon, draw. You also make a ton of animals sounds: moo, roar!, monkey sounds, woof, meow, an elephant trumpeting sound, cock-a-doodle-do (in your own way, of course!), and sometimes a pig snort.

Signing
Along with talking, you also sign a lot of words: Please, thank you, more, sorry (we taught you that one when you started hitting!), tree, apple, music, book, help, milk, eat.

Sleeping
You still wake often throughout the night to nurse. Sometimes you'll sleep for 4-5 hours, and rarely will you sleep for 6 straight. But, those nights are happening more often, which is really good for all of us! We are following your lead. If you need me, I am there. Some people really don't agree with the way we're handling your sleep, but my thought is that no matter what, you'll know that mama and dada will always be here for you when you need it. You can trust us. We will never abandon you to let you cry-it-out. That method does not agree with our parenting style. You are also still in our bed, and we love to snuggle with you. Your crib is attached to the bed, and I'll often place you in it after you fall asleep, and sometimes you'll roll over into it. My feeling is that when you are ready for sleep independence, that crib space will be there for you, and we'll still be nearby so it won't be scary. (Of course, if it got to the point with your night-waking that it was hurting us and making it unable for us to cope with day-to-day stuff, we may have to nudge you quicker into sleep independence, but right now it works for us.)

Play
You are FUN! You love to roughhouse, tickle, run at us, spin around, dance... anything active. You like to hide behind the curtains and call "dadddddyyyyy" and run out and tackle us. You like to play hide and seek... the kid that ends with a roar and squeal! You love, love, love to be outside. We draw on the sidewalk with chalk, walk through the grass, take neighborhood walks, hang out by the garden, play in your water/sand table. Anything really. You just love the fresh air and sunshine. You LOVE to read. You will bring us book after book after book (and on and on and on). You plop down into our laps and help us turn the pages and even act out some of the actions of the characters. You particularly like "Papa Please Get the Moon for Me" by Eric Carle. You point Papa out on each page, and even say "Papa" like an ornery Italian woman.

You LOVE to draw! You make a drawing motion and say "dwaw." You love to use crayons, markers. You love to paint. You use your fingers, paintbrushes, and even sponges to paint. You have a chalkboard that you draw on whenever you want, and you have sidewalk chalk that I mentioned above. I am in the process of creating a special art station here at home, where you will always find the things you want to create with, instead of having to ask me for it. Paper, crayons, markers (washable, of course) top the list. But I want there to be so much more. I want you to grow up creatively and be able to make your own decisions. Art will help you do that!

Oh, there's so much more... I will have to write you again soon, sweet girl. I could tell you about our potty training beginning, about bathtime fun, about our strong attachment, about switching daycares, about our summertime fun so far, about so much. But, this letter is getting long, so I will wrap up for now.

We love you very much. You are our moon girl!

Love, Mama

Lately.

(I will preface this post with saying that if you're just here for the mass of photos of the past couple of weeks, just scroll down past all my rambling.  It's okay with me if you do.)
Guys, I have been so busy.  So, so, so busy.  I haven't kept up with writing my blog, or reading blogs in weeks (except for the few I remember about as I'm laying in bed with Adelaide nursing her down).  I don't really have anything to show for the lack of posting.  Nothing has really been eating up my time, except I just can't find many minutes in the day to sit down and catch up.  Breathe.  Just be. 

Well, I did finally crack open a non-baby-related book the other night.  For about 20 minutes, I blissfully read and ate black bean and cheese taquitos dipped in salsa.  It was nice.

But the rest of the time?  Busy.  Taking care of an almost-17-month-old (!!!) whose latest trick is whining as soon as mommy steps in the door at daycare in the afternoons and not really ceasing until she gives out at the end of the night.  And that's not even a real given anymore, either.  This week has been treacherous in the sleep arena: laying down at 7:15 only to fall asleep at 8:45, waking up repeatedly in the middle of the night, crying and flailing about when I try to lay her back down, wanting to be up - immediately - at 5:30 in the mornings instead of letting momma and dada slowly rise from slumber. 

And Kevin has been incredibly busy.  Meaning, he hasn't done hardly anything around the house because he's up to those beautiful blue eyes in sawdust, welding rings, and heading up drums.  An 18-drum order is fantastic for business, but not so great for family life.  This also means that our house is a disaster zone - piles of drum-makin' stuff everywhere.  He should have them delivered out tomorrow, so hopefully that will be a start of a cleaner, calmer house, with a more-present Kevin around to help a bit.

But even though it's been a hard couple of weeks, it's still good.  I mean, really!  She is growing so much.  In fact, last weekend, she woke up a bit after being in bed for a while.  Normally she'd start crying, and after a minute Kevin would go in and console her (i.e. she'd knock out as soon as he'd walk in the door - just wanted to know we were still there, is all).  But that night, she woke up, swung off the bed, and toddled down the hall with her arms up and a big smile on her face.  It was so darn cute that I picked her up and let her cuddle with me on the couch in a big goofy grin and watch comedy shows.  I think she knew she was up when she was supposed to be sleeping.  A kid who just got a special treat, you know?

Plus, she's using her signs more.  Please, thank you, more (with an audible "mo" along with it), and milk are her common ones.  We're trying to teach her a version of help, but she mostly just goes through all the signs when she needs something waiting for one to apply.  It's kinda cute.

And even though there's so much more goodness, my menial break at work is almost over, so here's that promised photo dump you've been so patiently waiting for... hope all is well in your world!


 Helping out in the garden... watering the plants.  Mother's Day lunch at Flying Biscuit Cafe. 

Such a little girl.

Sunday my baby took a baby to nap with her for the first time, and it made my heart melt. She hugged that doll till she fell asleep. I brought it with me today when I picked her up from daycare, and when she saw it she grabbed on tight and whimpered, like she missed it all day. She carries it around, patting it on the head and hugging it.

This evening, I picked her up off the counter where she was entertaining herself while I did the dishes, and left her doll behind. Adelaide patted her chest where her baby should be, and I thought I was going to cry.

She is so sweet, and growing up. I wish I knew her every thought. She's becoming a little girl, isn't she? I love her so much.... look at this kid:


 I'm 99% sure that these overalls are mine from when I was little... awesome! 

And this sweet tie-dye number is from a beautiful friend of mine... check her out.

Still nursing at 16 months.

From the beginning I've said that I will nurse as long as Adelaide wants to, and my view hasn't changed. I love this relationship, and the cuddles that go along with it. Some days it's the only time she slows down and I treasure the sounds of deep gulps and the little noises she still makes when she nurses.


I never hold her in the cradle position anymore. She sits square on my lap and leans forward. Most of the time she looks out to the side, but she'll also turn her head to look at me and play with my face. I'm able to give her lots of attention and kisses. I love it.


Who knows when we'll stop. I don't see her quitting any time soon. She doesn't ask for it as often as she used to (and she's FINALLY just now using the actual milk sign!), but she still nurses through the night, nurses to sleep, and then once or twice in the evenings. On the weekends she'll nurse at naptime, and then maybe once or twice more.


I actually hope she doesn't stop anytime soon. I love it, and feel proud that we've made it this far. 16 months and counting...

Rice pool party.

I've been wanting a sand box or table for Adelaide for a while now.  I think I will probably end up making something for her, inspired by so many images I've seen on Pinterest, but who knows when that will be.
 
We do, however, have a baby pool that we picked up at Babies R Us when we went to buy her a nice, new, more comfy carseat. It was only $7.
 
I didn't have any sand, but I did have a huge bag of white rice that was still halfway full. I'd bought it and used some to make rice warmers a few years ago for Christmas presents, and the unused rice has sat in my craft closet since.
 

 I dumped it in the baby pool, threw in some bowls, spoons, etc. and let Adelaide explore.    She.Loves.It. It is a source of independent entertainment for her. I'm able to prep dinner for a whole 20-30 minutes with no interruptions! It did take some redirecting when it came to throwing the rice OUT of the pool, but we don't have problems with that anymore. And even I can't help but squat down and play in the rice with her... it's a very nice tactile experience!  
A perfect fix for a sandbox-less household. And when the weather decides to warm back up, I'll throw the rice back in the bag, and fill the pool up with water... and won't that be fun too!

Spot on.

You guys, I was right. I started my cycle the day after that last post, where I talked about maybe having a connection between my cycle and feeling blue. And no kidding, I immediately felt better, and have been doing fine since. My world isn't ending, things look (somewhat)hopeful, and I haven't bawled my eyes out anymore.

So, next month, we'll see if there's a repeat in my emotional roller coaster.  Thanks to all who commented on that last post.  It feels so good to know that I can put something sensitive out there and get support and advice and general well-wishing.  So good.  Thank you!

Feeling the blues.

I may have made a connection between my days of complete sadness and my period. Too much info? Sorry. But it's a revelation, if I'm correct. Pre-baby, and even pre-work, I wouldn't suffer too badly with pre-menstral symptoms. Cramps, a little irritability, stuff like that. Nothing major. (Unless you ask my husband, hah!)

But all this week I have been feeling intense blues. Like, want to cry all.the.time. And I think I'm due to start my period soon. And, wasn't it about a month ago that I had a few days stretch of sadness? I can't remember exactly, but I might be on the right track. Maybe my hormones aren't quite back to normal. Maybe it's because I'm still nursing. Maybe this whole motherhood thing just affects me so deeply and some days I don't know how to handle the whole thing, working, money woes, my love handles, absent friendships and absent family members, and dreams of different circumstances. Somedays it all seems too much. And I think those days just might be happening somewhat predictably.

So I'm making a note of it on the calendar, these darker days, and when Aunt Flow shows up. And next month, if it happens again, I'll know there's a connection.

And if there is indeed a connection, I'll be looking up ways to counteract the blues. Maybe there's a supplement I can take the couple weeks leading up my period, maybe I need to spend as much time outdoors that week, I don't know. Does any of this sound familiar to anyone else? If so, what do you do to handle it?