Baby Update and Honesty about the Fear of Pain

I went to the midwife yesterday, at 40 weeks + 2 days. It was a good visit, but left me feeling scared. It was nothing that my midwife did. She was perfect in fact. Let me explain.


First of all, baby is wonderful! Still in the best position, with her back a little to the left of my belly button, which will make it easy for her to turn just right to slide through the birth canal in the most painless way possible (as opposed to being posterior, which is where her back is facing my back, and causes the head to scrape against the pelvic bones on the way out - ouch!). Her heart tones are strong and steady, to which midwife said "Don't be too happy in there... it's nice out here too!" Everything on my part looks good: urine (she's said that I have the best urine she's seen in a long time! haha), not much swelling now that I'm not working and on my feet every day (but still a little), no headaches, dizziness, etc.


We decided to check my dilation, which I was iffy about doing. We decided to do it only so that we can have a baseline to measure my progress with should I still be pregnant next Tuesday - my next scheduled appointment. (Please, don't let me still be pregnant!)


This is where my naivety pretty much left me. I will try to explain this without getting too personal because I know that my grandparents read this and probably a bunch of other family that just stay behind the scenes, but for years I have had problems with pain "down there." It's very sensitive, to the point where even a regular gynological exam is more painful for me than it is for the average person. I have no idea why this is. I've seen doctors about it, but we can't quite figure it out. It's just something I have to deal with. Knowing this has been a point of anxiety for me with this pregnancy, thinking that labor and pushing the baby out may be more painful than average because of my physical issues.


When my midwife began checking me, I was a little tense anticipating the pain, which of course made it a bit painful. And she told me (warned me) that I would feel a pinching feeling when she pulled my cervix down so that she could check the dilation, which I did. And it hurt. Really bad. I tried to relax and practice my breathing, but basically it really freaked me out and I just started imagining how painful birthing this baby really is going to be (because I know that checking my cervix is nothing compared to pushing a 7+ pound baby out). I squeezed the crap out of Kevin's hand while trying to relax my body. Self-doubt exploded and I cried.


My midwife was so great about calming me. She leaned down to hug me (which I doubt most doctors would do in that situation), she talked with me, she really looked at me and tried to build my confidence. She's wonderful!


We left the appointment, at which time I cried again because it was just me and Kevin in the car, and I babbled and snotted and said "I can't do this" over and over again. He said some really great things, got me to calm down some, and we ran errands before going home for the night.


See, I know my body can do this. My body was made for growing and nurturing and birthing a baby - I believe that with all my heart and being. But I have never experienced a lot of pain before - never been in an accident, never broken a bone, etc. I have nothing to gauge this pain on, and nothing to know what my pain tolerance is. And I know that my appointment yesterday was really just a taste of what's to come. I know on the scale it doesn't measure up to childbirth, but it just opened my eyes to what's about to happen. And it's scary! The fear of pain has been the hardest bit about my decision to have a natural childbirth to deal with.


But I know that this is what is best for my baby and for me. I want to be undrugged so that I can have that immediate connection with my child. So I can look at her and she can look at me and we can actually see each other. So that I can be aware of what's going on around me and within me (however scary and painful that may be). So that I can recover quickly and be able to go home the same day to the comfort of my home. So that I can birth in my own way, moving around and making noise. So that I can choose who will be around me at any given time - women who have braved this passage before and can know what I will be going through, who can help me to believe that I am doing a great job. So that my husband can be a hugely active part of this labor, from coaching me the entire time, to catching the baby, to making decisions, etc. So that I can have a calm atmosphere that I control.


Birth and the pain that comes with it is a very scary thing to imagine (for anyone, really), especially when checking my dilation was a lot more painful than I anticipated, but having a natural birth is still what I think and feel is best for my baby and I. Perhaps having experienced this bit of pain yesterday is a good thing, so that I can better prepare myself for what's to come. I know I still have no idea the enormity of what I'm about to physically experience, but maybe just having a small feel for it is better than going into it blindly.


This post may be a bit too much information for some, but it's the truth, and honesty is better than trying to make everything seem like roses. I know there are other women out there with similar issues, and working through them can be really tough, both physically and emotionally. This pain is something I've been dealing with for many years now. I just hope that I get a surge of confidence and am able to push through my labor and delivery strong and sure of myself. I will have a great support system around me: 2 midwives, my doula, and my husband. My midwives and doula have had natural births and are so supportive and will give me what I need to make it through. And of course my husband will help me in more ways than that. He will be my rock that I will look to for assurance, strength, support, and love.


I just have to think like the little engine that could: "I think I can, I think I can..." I know I can.

Check! Car Seat Installed!

Well, it's actually been installed for a couple of weeks or so now, but I'm just now getting around to posting about it.

It was more difficult than we thought. Thankfully I had a big, strong husband that could really tighten the belt and get the carseat secure. If it weren't for him, I'd have driven to the nearest fire department and had them do it. (You know, a bunch of firemen are trained in car seat installation, and will do it for free.)

But now it's in! We even went ahead and put on the window cling shade. We don't want little Adelaide to get sun in her eyes, now do we? And of course a soft blanket to wrap her up in if it's chilly outside.

I can't wait for that first drive home, when I can sit beside her and just hold her little hand all the way to our house. She will be so tiny at first. Precious!

40 Weeks + 1 Day

I'm touching the other tree! Check out week 13 and how much room I began with!!!

Will there be a 41-week photo shoot???

Here and Gone.

Yesterday was Adelaide's due date. It was here, and now it's gone. Boohoo.

All along, when people asked when I was due, I would say "December 12" with air quotes, because I KNOW that due dates are so off sometimes. And I know that they are based on the first day of your last period, and on a 28-day cycle. My cycle is wonky, so who knows when I actually ovulated? My due date could actually be a week from now.

(I hope not.)

And up until a few days ago, I was still alright with the thought that I could go over my due date. That I could go a week over my due date. Two weeks. I thought all those women who talked about how crazy they got at the end waiting for their babies were just that: crazy.

And then yesterday happened. Oh, normal day. I putzed around. Watched TV. Cooked. Cleaned. Grocery shopped. Took a late-night trip out to Target just because I wanted a puzzle.

And I wished and hoped and wanted so bad for her to have a cool birthday like 12/12. I thought about it all day. I talked to her, pleaded for her to let me know she was ready to come out. But it didn't happen. Honestly kind of a bummer. At least she spent the day doing acrobatics so I know she's perfectly healthy and fine in there. But just not ready (like I am!).

Who knows when this baby is coming? Apparently everyone and their mother has a December birthday and they think that she's waiting for their birthday. As long as she doesn't wait until Christmas day I'll be happy. Today is her Uncle Jesse's birthday (Kevin's brother). He'd be a great person to share a birthday with, Adelaide. Just sayin'.

I just have to stay busy so I don't go stir-crazy. I need to go get gel capsules so that Kevin can encapsulate my placenta (post on that soon, probably). And taking some laps around the mall might not be a bad idea.

And I do have that new puzzle.

Week 39, Letter to Adelaide

Dear Adelaide,




As your father and I wait for you, we talk about who you will be. We talk about what you will look like, who's nose you will have, how tall you will be. You have half of your father and half of me in your genes, and how exactly we combined to make you is still a mystery. We only have a few days until we find out how much hair you have, how tiny your fingers are, how cute your mouth will be. People always say that waiting to find out if a baby is a boy or girl until birth is the biggest surprise of life, but even knowing that you will be our baby girl, I think that not knowing what you will look like and who you will be is just as great of a surprise.

[Just a teensy bit of space left! If you wait till your due date, I bet I'll touch!]

Yesterday, your dad and I were watching a tv game show, where two sisters were trying to win enough money to pay off their mother's mortgage. They talked about who their mother was, and what she meant to them. They cried when thinking of that love for her, and then I cried thinking that I am a mom to a daughter and we will share that kind of love. I already feel so much for you, and I'm anxious and excited to experience our relationship through the years. I will be your nurturer, your guide to the world and life, your secret-keeper. I can picture us as you grow, but only time will really tell who we will be together.

[Can you see my love for you? It grows every day.]

Your birth is so near. Although I'm not having many contractions throughout the day (and not strong when I do), I can tell. Our midwife says your head has dropped even lower, but that you still have room to grow, if you need to. I want you to stay warm and cozy inside my belly as long as you need, sweet girl. I want you to be nice and strong and healthy and ready for this world. I will be here waiting as long as it takes. When you are ready to come out, you will be welcomed with smiles and kisses. We hope that your father will be the first one to touch you as you come out, and with the midwife's help, he will place you into my arms, where I will hold you and cradle you to my breast. We will stare at each other and instantly that love will connect us for all time.

[Your fluffy brother, Keagan. His winter coat is beautiful!]

I am so, so ready to meet you. Your room is ready, our birth bags are packed, the house is (pretty much) clean. the Christmas tree is up and decorated, food is cooked and in the freezer for those days we can't bear to be in the kitchen. Now I am just waiting for you to come say hello!

I love you, baby!
~Moma


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P.S. We got our camera back last week! My photos are so much better!

38 Weeks & Letter to Lentil

Dear Adelaide,

We're getting so close baby girl! I can't wait to meet you! Every day that passes now seems like we're bounds and leaps closer to your birth day. I've stopped saying how many weeks I have left, and now I'm just counting down the days.

You have a habit of kicking your feet out on the right side of my belly. Always, always, I can feel you kicking there. Sometimes it hurts, but most of the time it makes me really happy because I can just picture those little feet. They will be so tiny and wrinkled. I can't wait to count your toes and tickle your feet and kiss them all over. You will be so sweet, I just know it!


Our midwife says everything looks good. Your heartbeat is always perfect, and you are still in the best possible position for birth. Stay that way! :) Your head is really low and tight in my pelvis now, and you're getting ready to go!

I go through a mix of emotions when I think about labor. On one hand, I am afraid of the pain. I was telling your dad the other day that I don't have anything to compare pain to. I have been really lucky in this life to not have gotten hurt. I've never broken a bone, been in an accident, had food poisoning... nothing big. So I have nothing to base my tolerance of pain against. I'm scared of how bad it will hurt to have my body working to move us closer together, to move you out of my body and into this world.

But on the other hand, I am so very excited for labor! I am looking forward to being fully present and aware of what is happening with my body, of knowing every step of the way that what my body is doing is moving you down and out of me, so that we can finally meet and I can kiss those toes. I am looking forward to doing this myself, so that I can feel powerful and know that I can do anything. And I can't wait to see how your dad helps me. I know he'll be amazing and present and compassionate.

There is nothing I've done that's more exciting than you, sweet girl. We'll meet soon and be forever mother and daughter. I love you!

Love,
Moma

Check! Found a pediatrician! Oh, and now I can legally give birth.

I just got back from meeting with a pediatrician, who I've decided is pretty great. It was a really quick meeting, where I didn't ask nearly enough questions, and it actually felt kind of rushed. So you're probably asking what makes this guy/place so great.

Well, the whole practice works with a very natural, holistic mindset. The physician, his assistants, and the nurses all share the same philosophy and beliefs about healthcare - that it's a mind and body thing, not something to be treated automatically with a prescription. As a pediatrician, this doctor I've met with basically said, before even I got a chance to ask, that he will work with us on whatever immunization schedule we want, when we want it. That's a plus for us. We haven't worked out exactly what we want, but we're pretty sure we're going to be on the "as-little-as-possible" end.

He also said that he will only prescribe medicine when really, really needed, and only after trying other routes to solve a problem. This is good for us because we rarely take medicine ourselves (why would we assume our child would?).

He is also perfectly accepting and fine of our intention to solely breastfeed, and that we are a vegetarian family.

So yay! And not only did I check off finding a pediatrician, by meeting with this physician, I was able to have him sign a form clearing me to give birth at the birth center. Legally I need that form to prove that I am low-risk, and I've got it!

Now I need to figure out insurance for this little one. I know I've waited too long, but I'm calling them today (as soon as I get done with lunch!). Hopefully it won't be a hassle and will be easy to set up.

Freezer Meals

Yesterday I woke up early after only five and a half hours of sleep.


(I was tired.)


But I wanted to get up on my first real, official day of maternity leave and DO something. So I fixed a delicious breakfast of waffles and eggs and fakin' bacon for myself and the hubs before he left for work. And instead of crawling into bed for more sleep, I trekked to Walmart to do some major grocery shopping.


Then I came home and made a bunch of food that I can't touch for two weeks because I stuck it in the freezer specifically for when Adelaide gets here and the thought of cooking is beyond my mental capacity.


On the menu (sorry for the lack of pictures):

• 18 breakfast burritos - 9 sausage and 9 beef (all veggie meat of course). These are SO easy and quick and awesome for rushing around in the morning. Not to mention the insane amount of protein per burrito. I can post the recipe if anyone is interested.


• Spinach Lasagna. I haven't had this before but it looked mighty tasty. Lots of sauce and yummy cheese.


• Veggie Enchiladas. I'm really excited for this casserole dish. The enchiladas themselves have corn, spinach, black beans, and cheese. And of course I made the enchilada sauce, which actually looks, smells, and tastes like the enchilada sauce I remember from my favorite college-town Mexican place.


• Veggie Burgers. The recipe says it makes 4, but I got 6 out of it. I wrapped each individually and then bagged them up two in a bag so that they'd be good to take out for a dinner for the two of us. I don't know how these will taste, burger-wise, but the patties did smell good and the little bit that I did taste was yummy. But I don't think they'll be burgers.


• Pizza Bagels. I made 10 whole wheat bagel halves, topped with pizza sauce, cheese, and an assortment of toppings. And just like the recipe said to, I broiled until the cheese melted, let them completely cool, and then bagged them separately. They will be a quick fix (with about 8 grams of protein each, plus your calcium from the cheese) by just popping them in the toaster oven for a few minutes.

I even got the hubs to agree not to touch anything on that freezer shelf until baby Adelaide gets here. I figure while we have the time and energy to cook now, we should. Later when we're sleep-deprived, we don't want to regret heating up and devouring that delicious enchilada dish or munching on those pizza bagels.

All in all, for a day of cooking, I'm glad to have a freezer full of yummy, nutritous food on hand! Hopefully that'll help us in the first couple weeks not to call Dominos for their num-yummy white sauce, onion, and red bell pepper pizza. Maybe.

You'd think by now...

...I'd remember to post my weekly picture updates on time! Oh well. Blame it on the fatigue. I've been tired A LOT. Chalk it up to my extra 35 pounds I'm lugging around, and the fact that I'm getting ready to push a freaking human out of my wooha. (Kind of a scary though, ya know.)

Anyway, here's my 37-week picture. Unfortunately I'm not really in focus, but the beautiful red leaves are! One of our cameras that we shipped off to Nikon (we actually had two broken ones!) should be fixed and here early this week so we can start getting good pictures again (just in time!).

38-week pictures coming really soon! Umm.... promise?

Midwife appointment update

Yesterday I had an appointment with my midwife. It was a very basic appointment, where she basically just checked the baby and my blood pressure and asked me a few questions (headaches, swelling, drinking enough water, eating healthy foods, etc.). I feel I've been a bad patient as I haven't been drinking enough water and I've been eating quite a bit of junk food. But all is well, and baby is in perfect position. Still not fully engaged, as there's a bit of wiggle room with her head down there, but otherwise showing a good position. Heart tones were great as well, in the 140s with a bit of acceleration here and there, which is a good thing my midwife assured me.

Baby Adelaide hadn't been very active for the past couple of days, but my midwife says that as they get further along and more ready for the birth, babies settle down a bit. She said that if I do get worried, that I could just eat something sweet, lay down for a couple of hours and I should feel about 10 movements in that period of time. Thankfully though, the appointment must have woken her up, because baby has been very active since and I've not needed to worry.

As I get closer, my moods are going crazy! I'll be so excited to meet this little one, and the next minute I'm crying because I'm worried I won't do a good job as a mom. I stress about how the house gets so messy so quickly and that makes me think that if I can't keep my house clean how am I supposed to take care of a BABY??? I think nerves and excitement and anxiety and fear and joy are all mixed into one. Lack of sleep from tossing and turning (and getting up to pee), and a poorer than normal diet both have something to do with these mood swings, I'm sure. I'll take extra attention to get more rest and eat healthier these last couple of weeks (and spend time every day picking up a little here and there, no matter how tired I am).

It will be so soon that I get to meet my little sweet girl! I hope I'm ready.

Don't you find that adorable?

A fellow teacher just came in my room to say goodbye.  Tomorrow is my last day of work for the rest of the school year (it can't come fast enough) so as I'm seeing people, I'm saying goodbye.

She came in and the first thing she said was, "I guess I haven't seen you in a while... you're looking fuller in the face now, actually looking pregnant!"

Um, thanks?

Then, noticing my displeasure at her comments, she asked "You don't find that adorable?"

No.

My appetite has definitely grown over the past 3 weeks and I've noticed it.  I can't stop eating!  I feel hungry all the time and no matter what I have, it doesn't satisfy me.   So yeah, I feel a little fatter than normal.  I hadn't really noticed it in my face, but of course I see myself everyday and maybe wouldn't notice it.  But to actually have someone tell me, and then say it's adorable.  Blech.

I need more sleep.

Clothes on the Line

All the clothes are washed, dried, and put away.  Despite the mountain of pink, I have fallen in love with the little footie pajamas, the teeny tiny shirts, and the zip-up jackets for our smallest people.  Even Kevin got all gooey after seeing all this on the line.  

I've organized her dresser and gotten everything into their little compartments.  A space for the socks, a space for the nighties, a space for the pants.  One drawer for newborn-sized clothing, and another for 0-3 months, just in case she doesn't fit into the newborn sizes.  (Or in case she grows out of them super fast.)

Everything else is separated by size into bins in her closet, labeled with a gray marker to match the room.  6-9 months, 12 months, 18 months, 24 months/2T, 3T and older.  I've gotten a lot of hand-me-downs.  Our girl will be well-dressed for at least the first 2 years!  I'm just lacking in the 3-6 month department, but we'll make it work.

Last night was a bit overwhelming with piles of clothes on the floor, but now that everything is put away I feel much better.  I've picked out 3 choices for her coming-home outfit.  Kevin couldn't even pick a favorite, so we'll have to wait and see what we feel like putting on her when the time comes.  One of the outfits is newborn sized, and the other is in 0-3 months.

I can't wait to dress this little girl!  

35 Weeks, a bit late

Unfortunately our wonderful camera has died and for the moment is being shipped off to Nikon who will hopefully fix it quickly (like, before the birth). So the 35 week photos are from Kevin's camera phone. Obviously the quality isn't the same, but at least it's a picture, right?

Doesn't my belly look abso-freaking-lutely humongous? And to think I have another few weeks of incubation time!


And last weekend, my friend and moma and sister came to visit to throw me a baby shower (pictures soon). This is me with my little sister, who I hadn't seen in nearly 11 months for many reasons. It was so good to be around her again! She's a great girl with a lot of potential for a wonderful life! In this picture though, I think my belly looks bigger than it really is because there's a shadow from it on my sister. She said she liked this picture because the curve of my belly fit perfectly right under the curve from her boobs, haha!

Numb Tummy! And other pregnancy woes...

I've had a good pregnancy, I'll admit.  Compared to the horror stories that I hear women going through, I've been lucky.  No morning sickness, no constant backache, no sciatica, no major swelling.  

But just because I've not gone through major problems for the past 35 weeks doesn't mean that it's all roses over here.  Here's some of the issues I'm beginning to have:

• Swollen, tingly hands.  In the morning when I wake up my hands will be so sore!  It's difficult for me to bend my fingers and sometimes they feel like the joints are popping in and out!  They tingle and they feel swollen, though they don't look that swollen.  (Well, except for the one time that I tried wearing a wrist brace to help the soreness... when I woke up, my hand extending out from the brace was very visibly swollen!!)  My midwife says it's probably because of the mix of the hormone relaxin and water retention.
• Sore wrists.  This is carpel tunnel syndrome.  It creeps up during pregnancy because of pressure on the nerves in your wrists.  So far it's just my right hand (my dominant hand), and it mostly just hurts when I'm trying to hoist myself out of bed for the bathroom or waking up in the morning.
• Numb tummy!  The skin on my stomach around my belly button feels numb all the time!  It started at around 30 weeks and the numb area has just gotten bigger and bigger as my stomach does the same!  Some think it's due to the baby pressing on a nerve, others (and myself) think it's because your skin is stretched so tight.  It's totally fine, and my midwife says not to worry.
• Sore feet.  Duh!  I'm carrying around 30 extra pounds for hours and hours every day.  I'm a teacher and I'm on my feet all day running around the classroom, so of course my feet hurt at the end of the day!
• Feeling so tired!  At the end of the day, when I come home after working for 8+ hours, it's all I can do to fix dinner and get some chores done.  It's not every day that I feel this way, but it's starting to be.  I've been lucky that it's only just now hitting me, but I hate it because I want to be working on Adelaide's room or getting other baby-related projects done... I just don't have as much energy.

So there's my list.  It's not too bad, but then again... I still have almost 5 weeks to go.  Who knows what will creep up on me?  If you're preggers like me, hopefully you don't have any major problems that you're dealing with... and if you do have major issues, just remember it's for the best reason ever!

34 Weeks

Can you believe that there used to be a lot of space between me and the other tree???  Now I'm getting so close!  With less than 6 weeks to go, I'm thinking I'll get there, for sure.  My friends and family are guessing as to which week they think I'll no longer fit!

Dear Adelaide,

Things are going really well, for the most part.  The house is getting tidier, your room is getting ready.  You are still head-down and the midwife thinks you're engaging, which means that your head is dropping down under my pelvic bone to get ready for birth!  

For some reason, now that I have 6 weeks left, everything feels surreal again.  In the beginning it didn't feel real because I couldn't feel you move.  Now you're so big that I simply can't ignore that you're there, but it feels unreal because it'll be so soon that your body will be out of my body.  And we'll be able to hold you and hear you and see you.  

I've been very lucky to have an easy pregnancy.  There are three other ladies at work that are pregnant.  One is due 2 weeks after you, and she's had problems with her back.  One is due in February and she got really bad morning sickness for a long time.  And the other is due in May with twins, and she's had a whole slew of pregnancy-related issues.  

Thankfully I've only had to deal with headaches (in the beginning, from not drinking enough water) and heartburn (off and on for the past few months.  I'm not taking any medicine for it though because I don't want it to get to you!) so I just have to deal with.  

However, I have developed a little bit of carpel tunnel syndrome, which makes my right wrist hurt pretty badly sometimes.  And in the morning when I wake up, my right hand feels so swollen and painful that sometimes I want to cry.  It's hard for me to bend my fingers or hold things first thing in the morning.  I think it's because I sleep mostly on my right side and the weight of my body on my arm makes it hard for the blood to flow.  And since there's so much more blood in my body now, for you, that equals painful swelling and joints.

Other than that, I've had no issues (well, and that week-long freakout of you being breech!).  I hope that the last 6 weeks continue to treat me well!  Stay in there, girl, and keep getting strong and ready for us!

We love you!

33 Weeks! And heartfelt letter to Lentil.

Dear Adelaide,

You really put your moma into a frizzy this week.  You decided to turn breech for a few days, which is when your head is up, when it's supposed to be down.  I knew right away when it happened, because I could feel your head like a hard roundness at the top of my belly.  I could also feel strong kicks down low.... kicks that made me go "woah!"  They were very strong.

A couple of days later, we had an appointment with our midwife, and she confirmed what I knew was true.  You were breech.  She told me to put a board against the couch and lay down on it with my head down, so I was inverted.  That was supposed to get you up out of the pelvic area so you would have room to turn.  I did that a few times over the weekend and it worked!  

Everything started feeling normal again, and I made a quick appointment with the midwife just to have her feel my belly so I could stop worrying.  And of course, I already knew, but you had turned back the way you were supposed to be and you were head down.  She even thought that maybe you were already becoming engaged, which is getting ready for birth!  We still have 6.5 weeks though, so don't be too anxious to come out, please!

Why did it freak me out so badly that you were breech?  (And why does it freak me out that you could still change your mind and become breech again?)  If you were to be breech when I went into labor, I wouldn't be able to birth you at the birth center.  I would have to find an obstetrician in the last month or so, and chances are that doctor would immediately recommend a c-section, which is surgery to get you out.  Not many doctors are trained anymore how to help a woman birth a breech baby.  There are a lot of complications, but it can be done.  

[I was hiding from the neighbors so they wouldn't think I was silly for taking pictures in the front yard.]

A c-section is still a possibility, and I know that.  I know that even if I begin labor at the birth center, an unforeseen complication could arise and make us have to transfer to the hospital.  But that would be after we tried a natural birth.  

When I was picturing myself having a c-section the couple of days you were breech, I was so worried.  I know what surgery would do to me.  Physically healing would be tough.  But the emotional healing would be way harder.  After working towards a natural birth for 8 months so far, to have to change plans to a medicated surgery where our first picture would be me dazed out and your dad holding your precious body next to my face so we could meet.... That's not what I want (although, again, I know it could happen).  I just don't want that scenario.  I hope, hope, hope that was the only "scare" this pregnancy will give me.  

[Kevin thinks I look like the girl from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory who swallowed the blueberry gum!]

I want to be fully awake and aware and raw when I meet you.  I can't wait to hold your newly birthed body against my chest and feel your slippery skin and smell your baby smell.  I'm so excited to meet you and I love you so much!  Each week that passes, as we get so close, I really can't contain the emotions I'm feeling.  

Things are coming together in so many ways, and your dad and I are preparing for the best part of our lives: you.

We love you!

Love,

Moma

Midwife Check-Up

Yesterday I went to the midwife for her to feel my belly, and Adelaide is in the PERFECT POSITION! :)

I guess she wanted to freak me out for a little bit by going breech for a week, but everything feels good now.

Midwife said that her head felt very low, possibly engaged (to which Kevin said, "everything's going so fast! I haven't even met her yet and she's already engaged!... silly!). She was able to tell me where all her little parts were: her butt, her feet, her back. She held a babydoll over my belly to help me visualize her position.

Also, from what I read on Spinning Babies, most babies that are breech who do turn, end up being posterior (baby's back at moma's back, resulting in back labor - ouch!). Adelaide is NOT posterior! Her back is to the left of my belly button, which is the best position right now. That will make it easier for her to center herself when the time comes, and be able to come right out the way she's supposed to. I'm doing a lot of pelvic rocks every night to help her stay that way (one thing the Bradley method encouraged).

So yay! Keep your fingers crossed that she'll stay this way for me! No more freaking mom out, Adelaide!